Day one - all the numbers

What on earth have I done to myself? This is the beginning of my journey back to health, after years of illness, neglect, tragedy and gluttony. I don't want to talk about weight 'loss', I want to talk about health gain. I need to change, for myself, for my daughters, and for my health

So all those boring numbers first. I am Lisa, I am 38 (allegedly, my inner self is a stroppy 15 year old with black lipstick and attitude - she only pops out occasionally these days, I'd like to see her more often) I have three daughters, Amy Rose, who died at two days old in 2004, Grace Violet, who is nearly 3, and Eva Primrose who is nearly one. I weigh 20 stone and 1lb (gulp!) and I have a cholestrol level of 7 (double gulp) My bust is 55", my waist (well, around where it should be) is 52" and my hips (or my hips plus the big saggy flap of belly) is 57.5". If I could claim to be 9 foot tall then I might be in proportion, but as it is I am 5'6" and I am going to die an early death unless I lose 10 stone in the next two year

I have PCOS, Polycystic ovarian syndrome, and take medication for that. I have just started Metformin again, which I was on before I got pregnant, and had to stop for as long as I was breastfeeding Eva. I am currently on 4 x 500mg a day and need to increase my dose to 6 x 500mg a day. My Gp will only prescribe me 3 tabs, so I am waiting for consultants letters and appeals to alow me my full dose. I am supplementing my GP prescription with the backlog of Met I have saved in my bathroom cupbaord. I also am waiting for approval to take Reductil, which I used to successfully lose 3.5 stone before I got pregnant.

I have added some photos, and I am just clinging onto the fact that I will be publishing more as I go along, and I WILL look better in them. This is as bad as it gets, from now on I am ditching this weight. This is the first step.